Today is World Mental Health Day and to celebrate mental health awareness I’ve recorded a video of me singing at home my song ‘Start Over Again’ which you can see on my Instagram reels.

I wrote ‘Start Over Again’ years ago when I was living in the Australian bush and at gigs I’d always play it as the encore saying “this is the story of my life in 3 and a half minutes”.  I guess now I’d have to add another 52 verses for it to really be the story of my life but anyway, the verses don’t really matter, it’s the chorus that’s important.

Because this is a song about recovery, something I’ve had to do time and time again after each bipolar episode, to pick myself up off the floor and start over again.  I couldn’t have done it on my own – I’ve been immensely blessed to have the helping hand of my family, friends and kind people in mental health services.

But still I’ve had to ultimately decide myself to choose life, to take every positive action I can to turn things around.  And things are turning round now – slowly but surely, I am coming out of the black hole of depression and back into the sunlight.  New songs will follow, they always do.  And I will realise this time has been another blessing, another reason to be thankful.  That no matter how deep the hole, how dark it’s been, things will always change and I’ll have another chance in this precious life to start over again.

My latest secret song I’ve just sent to my Patreon members is very close to my heart because I wrote it about my mum.  She has been there to hold my hand through every bipolar high and low since my first breakdown when I was 16, including the most recent depressive episode I am struggling with 35 years later.  She has the most extraordinary patience and kindness of anyone I have ever met.

I wrote and recorded this song for her 70th birthday at the height of the pandemic in January 2021 when I was stuck in Australia with the border shut.  I hadn’t realised when I’d said goodbye to her at Heathrow Airport in October 2019 that I wouldn’t see her again for the next 2½ years.  When my marriage split up and I returned to the UK completely broken in April 2023 she spent the next 2 years helping me put my life back together again.  And now since I broke my arm this year and had another bipolar relapse she has been there for me again every step of the way.  So ‘Guiding Light’ is a song of immense love and gratitude.

If you would like to hear it and my other secret songs, you can join my Patreon group here.

I have disappeared again down the rabbit hole that is bipolar depression.  Medication is helping but the rest of my gigs for this year have been cancelled as my arms are still not better and I’m just not mentally up to performing.

I will resurface, I always do.  In the meantime, I want to say a huge thank you to all my fans for their incredibly lovely messages of support, especially Geoff, Rebecca, Stan and Paul who actually sent me beautiful flowers and gifts that was such a wonderful surprise and made my day.  And Marion and Tony who offered to send me a bottle of wine.  You are all amazing, thank you so much.

The gigs I have cancelled will hopefully all be rearranged for next year so please join my mailing list if you’re not already on it so I can let you know dates as and when they are confirmed.

My beloved cello teacher Bruno Schrecker died today just 4 days short of his 98th birthday.  I have known Bruno since I was 12 years old, when I met him at a chamber music course called Pro Corda.  Bruno was teaching one of the quartets I was in and we were playing a particularly beautiful piece by Borodin which has a lovely cello part.

I didn’t see him again until 7 years later when he walked into my room at the Royal Hospital for Rheumatic Diseases in Bath with my consultant rheumatologist.  Somehow he had found out I was there being treated for fibromyalgia pain syndrome.

Then I didn’t see him again until our doorbell in Bath rang 20 years later and there was Bruno with his son, come to see my husband Christian for hypnotherapy.  From then on I saw him pretty much every week until we moved back to Australia in 2019.  In 2015-2016 I recorded over 7 hours of interviews with him talking about his extraordinary life (which you can read about in the obituaries in The Guardian and The Telegraph).

Since coming back to the UK in 2023 I have seen a lot of Bruno, having cello lessons and meditating together on his sofa, usually with a cat between us.  In his later years, we talked a lot about Buddhism which he said made the most sense to him as a philosophy.

I feel immensely privileged to have spent so much time with him, and benefitted so much from his passion for the cello.  He was much loved and is much missed.

I am trying to keep my spirits up after having to cancel 8 gigs due to breaking my right arm in a fall (I slipped on some wet cobblestones in Bath). Apologies to everyone who was going to come and see me perform and to the promoters for all their hard work. I hope to reschedule the gigs at some point in the future.

On the upside, I am working with renowned producer David Lord on my new album which will be out next year. There are 12 tracks in all and I can’t wait for you to hear them. I’ll be launching a crowdfunding campaign in the autumn as I’ll need to raise the funds to release it. All support will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to everyone who joined my Patreon membership group recently – I’ve been really enjoying choosing my secret songs to share with you. If you haven’t joined but are interested, please visit www.patreon.com/EmilyMaguire.