I am a British singer-songwriter. In 2014, following an intensive tour of Germany, I got chronic tennis elbow in both my arms and was unable to play my instruments for the next 18 months. This triggered a deep, bipolar depression. Desperate to do something creative, I started writing a poem each morning after finishing my Buddhist meditation practice. These short, stream-of-consciousness poems form the basis of this collection. They are unedited, exactly as they fell out of my head onto the page of my journal. I have no memory of writing any of them.
WALKING ON AIR
What I would give
To see the world
Through your eyes
Emptiness no longer
An object of fear
But an everyday reality
That lets you glide
Through life
Like that kite you had
As a boy
Bright yellow and red
Diving through the
Clear blue sky
No fears, no hopes
No regrets
Nothing but the absence
Of those things
So long tying you down
Making you think
This ground is solid
And you’re stuck upon it
When really your feet
Are walking on air.
IF THIS IS A DREAM
Time has no sides
No beginning
No end
Only now
And yet my mind
Is anywhere
But now
It’s down a ravine
Sitting pretty on a cloud
Making rain fall
And sun rise
Without any concern
Of how I might feel
This mind of mine
As if a river
Would care about
Its rocks
The sea about
Its shore
The point is
I guess
If this is a dream
Then I am asleep
What on earth
Would I see
If I ever woke up?
UNBROKEN
Things we think
We’ll never get over
Pass by and into
The distance
Like a giant wave
Till all that remains
Is a shell with
An echo of the sea
The tempestuous sea
That once swelled
And crashed and
Made you think
Your carefully constructed
Shore would be totally
Destroyed. And yet
Look here now, it is
As it is,
A little battered
But unbroken.
CANDLE
Will I ever wake
From this dream
Of angels and demons
Would they melt
Into mist if I did?
Would I see the trees
And the wood divisible
Yet interdependent
An infinite matrix
Of causes and conditions
And I am but one tiny
Black dot
On a vast canvas
Of space
And you are one star
In an infinite galaxy
Words not big enough
To contain the truth
Words not wise enough
To describe the way
Things really are
And me, atoms
Of space and time
Imagining I am a
Mothership when all
I really am is a
Flickering candle
Burning down, down.
THE DOOR
The door is open
A chink
Just enough
To let some light in
Just enough
For me to see
The world
On the other side
Of this wall
And it’s a place
Of opportunity
And fulfilment
Where flowers grow
And the air
Is clear
I could walk for miles
No more walls
Only gates
To go through
And beyond
To new horizons
New lands
Eyes wide
Heart open
As if this were
The very first time
I’d ever been born.
Emily reads poems from ‘Meditation Mind’ and sings acoustic songs as part of a live poetry & song performance. Click here for more information or contact us.