I am back in the habit of writing a poem every morning after my meditation practice.  These poems are basically automatic writing – I don’t know where they come from, they just fall out of my head as I’m drinking a coffee.  This is the one I wrote this morning:

‘Song’

It’s running dry
I need a good rain
To soak the ground
Startle the seeds
Into growing
Growing something big
Something beautiful
That I could write
And you could read
And the words
Would dance
On the page
Like a dervish
On solstice night
And you would be
Lifted up
And out
Leaving the hole
Far behind
Suddenly elevated
In the air
With nothing but
The sun and
A single soft cloud
To come between
And you would
Know everything
You would be
The wisest of us all
You would understand
The colours
Of the rainbow
And why
The wind blows
You would touch
The stars
With your fingertips
Hold the moon
In your arms
Knowing there is
Nothing we need
We don’t already have
In our hearts
In our minds
That life is a song
A song we’ve been
Singing since
Beginningless time.

Today is World Bipolar Day so I’ve made a short video to mark the occasion, talking a bit about my own experience of living with bipolar disorder and singing a brand new song called ‘Stay’ (lyrics below).  The video is on my YouTube channel – here’s the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46VZes0S6IU&t=2s

If you like it, please share it with your friends.

Here are the lyrics:

stay/elm/jan 2020

Life is never easy
Life is like a game
I was never good at playing
At staying sane

But I don’t care
I’m not scared anymore
Cos I’ve been there
I’ve been pinned against the wall
So I was hoping you’d stay

Cos I was going nowhere
Faster than a plane
Everybody’s lonely
In the pouring rain

But I don’t care
I’m not scared anymore
Cos I’ve been there
I’ve been pinned against the wall
So I was hoping you’d stay

Here come the demons
Calling out my name
There’s nothing like the feeling
Of being sane

But I don’t care
I’m not scared anymore
Cos I’ve been there
I’ve been pinned against the wall
So I was hoping, I was hoping
I was hoping you’d stay

I’ve just started my own community group on Facebook – a place where I can share my songs, videos, poems and blogs.  I am a bit shy on social media generally but I always love hearing from the people on my mailing list who reply to my group emails so hopefully the Facebook group will be another great way of keeping in touch. Here’s the link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/263924318517149

18 years ago today I sat down in my flat in London to write a letter to an old friend in Australia, Christian Dunham. I hadn’t heard from him for 3 years since he’d moved back there and I had no email or phone number for him, just a PO Box address. So I started the letter saying that this was a long shot as I was sure he would have moved on, and as I was writing my mobile phone started ringing and I answered it and a voice said ‘Hi this is Christian’. And that’s how I ended up here, 18 years later, living in the Australian bush. Fate works in strange ways :).

It is nearly autumn here in Australia. The days are getting cooler and the snakes are wandering around looking for somewhere to hibernate. I am so happy to know that spring is about to blossom in the UK and the restrictions slowly lifted.  Wherever you are, I hope you have been keeping well. If you’re on Facebook it would be lovely to see you in the group.

xx

I’ve just released a music video on my YouTube channel for a new song called ‘Long Way From Home’.

I live on the other side of the world from everyone I know and love. I’ve been horrified watching the news about the UK, seeing what people there are going through. I talk to my family and friends nearly every night, and almost every one of them is having a hard time.

I live in the Australian bush – no Covid, no lockdown, no Brexit. I alternate between feeling abject gratitude and abject guilt for being here. I miss my family and friends, more than they know, and feel desperate at times not knowing when I’ll be able to see them again.

The best way for me to express these feelings is to write about them. So ‘Long Way From Home’ is a song from my heart, a song to say I may be far away but I’m still there in spirit.

You can see the lyrics below and download the song for free here.

xx

long way from home/elm/dec 2020

I’m as far away as I can be
I find it is hard to breathe
When everyone I know is drowning deep
And it’s me that’s on the shore

I don’t have a magic brew
There’s nothing I can do but pray

Cos I’m a long way from home
I’m a long way from home
And I’m a long way from home

Everyone I know is feeling bleak
They hide it, they say to me
This crimson tide will turn eventually
They don’t believe a word they say

And I’m wishing I could be
Someone they could lean on

But I’m a long way from home
I’m a long way from home
And I’m a long way, I’m a long way from home

Some of us are broken and bereaved
They’re dying for certainty
Everyone is frightened underneath
And I can’t leave I can’t be there

Cos I’m a long way from home
I’m a long way from home
And I’m a long way, I’m a long way
I’m a long way from home

 

It has taken me years to finish this project but it’s finally done – my songbook for guitar.

This e-book includes 18 songs from my first five albums with chord diagrams and lyrics. See the list below.  All the songs are available to stream on my website.

I love the idea of other people singing my songs. If you play guitar, I hope this songbook will make it easier. Don’t be put off by some of the scary chord names – I am not an accomplished guitarist so all the shapes flow easily from one to the other.

A piano songbook will follow later this year.

xx

All That You Wanted
Back Home
Beautiful
Falling On My Feet
For Free
Free
I’d Rather Be
Keep Walking
Lighthouse Man
Old Valentine
On The Radio
Over The Waterfall
She Knows
Someday
Somewhere In The Blue
Start Over Again
Stranger Place
Woke Up

On 17th October this year, while the world was in lockdown, Christian and I did a gig at Eudlo Hall in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland, Australia.

43 people were allowed under Covid restrictions to attend.  We were joined on stage by two sisters – violinist Sarah King and cellist Louise King.  I’d spent two months writing the string arrangements, something which I dearly love to do, and after only one rehearsal together, we did the gig.

It was a great night – one of the best gigs I think we’ve ever done.  The promoter Michael Whiticker did the sound and recorded it and when we heard the tracks we decided to make it into a live album.  We had put our ancient camcorder at the back of the hall and another camera in the middle (thanks to Sally Walker), and so while Christian mixed the tracks I’ve just spent the last six weeks making a film of the gig.

So here it is for you.  You can watch the videos of the two sets and download for free the ‘Live at Eudlo Hall’ album and lyric booklet.  Please feel free to share the link with your friends. 

https://emilymaguire.com/music/live-at-eudlo-hall

‘Live at Eudlo Hall’ includes a sneak preview of five new songs which will be on my next studio album.  After such a difficult year, I wanted to give you these songs as a Christmas gift in the hope that they will uplift, comfort and inspire.

Wishing you all a happy Christmas and a much happier, peaceful 2021.

xx

Thanks to everyone who came to my gig at Eudlo Hall in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland on Saturday night. It was such a buzz performing old and new songs with such an amazing string duo as Sarah and Louise King. We enjoyed it so much. You should be able to see/hear some of it very soon…

To celebrate World Mental Health Day today, here is a video of me in my studio at home in the Australian bush, singing my song ‘Start Over Again’ (from my album ‘Believer’).  This was part of an online performance which was commissioned by the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (USA) to close their virtual conference this month.

‘Start Over Again’ is a song about recovery.  There are many roads to recovery, but we are all on the same journey.  Sometimes the going is easy, sometimes it’s hard.  One of the ways I cope with the ups and downs of my mental health is to write a poem every morning after my meditation practice.  Here is one I wrote last week:

Straitjacket

I would be anxious
If I was you
She said
Leaning forward
With a smile
And I’m not sure
How to respond
To that
As this is therapy
Supposedly
And it should be
Helping
But somehow
I feel more worried
Now than ever
As if my life
Were a cliff
And I am
Forever falling
But so far
So far
I haven’t hit
The ground
And maybe
If I just relax
I’ll find that
This straitjacket
Is really
Wings wrapped
Around me
So all I need
To do is untie
The knot
And learn
How to fly.

I’ve started writing a poem a day again after my morning meditation practice. I’m not songwriting at the moment so it’s good to have another creative outlet. These poems are really automatic writing, like the ones in my book ‘Meditation Mind’. They don’t rhyme and take a minute to write. Somehow something always comes out of the ether as I sit there with a pencil, a cup of coffee and a blank page. You can read below the poem I wrote today.

Below also is a lyric video for an old song you might remember from my album ‘Keep Walking’. The photo was taken on Winspit beach on the Isle of Purbeck, my spiritual home. I wonder when I’ll be back there again.

xx

Clouds

Sometimes I feel
Like I’m the only one
And it’s a lonely
Place to be
But then I remember
The whole world
Is fearful, wondering
What will happen next
And then I think
Of the practice of tonglen
How to turn arrows
Into flowers
If we all just sat down
In silence
Under a tree perhaps
Somehow our minds
Would unwind
And these tangled
Threads of thought
Would become
Wisps of air
No more solid
Than a cloud
Clouds have something
To teach us
About beauty
About lightness of being
About impermanence
We are all
Coming to terms
With being alive
We are all fire-eaters
And trapeze artists
Hoping there’s a
Safety net to catch
Our fall, waiting
For the sunset
As the clouds change
From white to red
To grey to black
And that’s okay
We might be afraid
Of the night
But we all know
You need the darkness
To see the stars.